19.3.08
An unveiled post
Its weird, stupid and irrational when a girl decides to put on a hijab just because her boyfriend thats promising her to propose for marriage told her to wear the it first, if the hijjab is so important to him why did he love a non veiled girl in the first place, and if he did and loves the girl dose it make any difference if she wore it or not, and if it dose why dont he propose first and then she will commit to hijjab, so many girls wore it for their boyfriends sake hoping that they will propose some day and in many cases the boyfriend turns his back to his so called love and her sacrifices, some girls stays wearing it out of shame to take it off and some just removes it putting an end to the boyfriend and hijjab at the same time, ofcourse some remains wearing it out of satisfaction.
Its so weird when a girl dosent pray and isnt religious starts wearing the hijjab, you find her boyfriend, husband, parents, friends, teachers or even the whole world so proud of her, just because from the outside now she looks like how god wants her to be, isnt praying more important than wearing the hijjab, now how could people be happy for her, while they know that she wore it for a stupid reason and that reason is way far from wearing it for God.
4 years ago a friends of mine that i love so much, got engaged, and wasnt to religious or didnt know much about islam, because she wasnt raised in an arab country, and her fiance that dosne pray asked her to wear it, and she just did, now i respect how much she loves him, but how rational can that be when a non praying guy ask from a girl to wear the hijjab, ofcourse she didnt knew infront of who she is supposed to wear or why do we wear it, and i talked her out of it, cause mainly i was pissed of from her fiance for wanting her wearing it and seeing him as a hippocrates and because she didnt know alot about islam, i talked her out of it and convinced her that there is always a right time to wear it, when she learns more about it, who to cover from and when and what parts to be covered, when she is totally committed to god from the inside, committed by her actions and praying daily then she wears it, a person must only wear it for god, and after i guess 4 or 5 months that girl was totally committed to god and wore her hijjab proudly and so committed to it.
for me i never accepted from anyone to tell me how to commit to god, i hate people telling me pray, i pray when i want to, i hate it more when they say "عقبال ما تتحجبي" i dont pray and you know i dont pray why should i wear the hijjab, and it disgust the most me when a guy ask from a girl to wear the hijjab when he proposes to her.
Another thing about hijjab and reasons for wearing it, one reason i hate and i find it both cruel for the girl and islam is punishing a girl by wearing the hijjab when they catch her with a boyfriend, for god sake that will make things even worse for the girl and for the hijjab, she will never wear it in a proper way she'll always find ways to over come it by wearing tight glittery cloths and layers of makeup, by forcing her; what did she learn? nothing.
no one preached her about relations and how to be careful and when is the right time and right person, cause her parents are to close minded to talk about something like that, so for her the lesson that was learned is she had been judged and punished for how she looks not how she acts, therefor her actions will carry on and if not becomes worse, because actions dosent matter any more as long as she looks Innocent.
Its so weird when a girl dosent pray and isnt religious starts wearing the hijjab, you find her boyfriend, husband, parents, friends, teachers or even the whole world so proud of her, just because from the outside now she looks like how god wants her to be, isnt praying more important than wearing the hijjab, now how could people be happy for her, while they know that she wore it for a stupid reason and that reason is way far from wearing it for God.
4 years ago a friends of mine that i love so much, got engaged, and wasnt to religious or didnt know much about islam, because she wasnt raised in an arab country, and her fiance that dosne pray asked her to wear it, and she just did, now i respect how much she loves him, but how rational can that be when a non praying guy ask from a girl to wear the hijjab, ofcourse she didnt knew infront of who she is supposed to wear or why do we wear it, and i talked her out of it, cause mainly i was pissed of from her fiance for wanting her wearing it and seeing him as a hippocrates and because she didnt know alot about islam, i talked her out of it and convinced her that there is always a right time to wear it, when she learns more about it, who to cover from and when and what parts to be covered, when she is totally committed to god from the inside, committed by her actions and praying daily then she wears it, a person must only wear it for god, and after i guess 4 or 5 months that girl was totally committed to god and wore her hijjab proudly and so committed to it.
for me i never accepted from anyone to tell me how to commit to god, i hate people telling me pray, i pray when i want to, i hate it more when they say "عقبال ما تتحجبي" i dont pray and you know i dont pray why should i wear the hijjab, and it disgust the most me when a guy ask from a girl to wear the hijjab when he proposes to her.
Another thing about hijjab and reasons for wearing it, one reason i hate and i find it both cruel for the girl and islam is punishing a girl by wearing the hijjab when they catch her with a boyfriend, for god sake that will make things even worse for the girl and for the hijjab, she will never wear it in a proper way she'll always find ways to over come it by wearing tight glittery cloths and layers of makeup, by forcing her; what did she learn? nothing.
no one preached her about relations and how to be careful and when is the right time and right person, cause her parents are to close minded to talk about something like that, so for her the lesson that was learned is she had been judged and punished for how she looks not how she acts, therefor her actions will carry on and if not becomes worse, because actions dosent matter any more as long as she looks Innocent.
Labels: discussions, what ever
# posted by manal yusuf @ 8:38 AM 
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Great post - this is so FRUSTRATING. Why is it such a crime to dare to stand up for ourselves? If a guy tells a girl to go jump off a cliff, would she do it? How different is this, if a girl is asked to adopt an Islamic obligation for all the wrong reasons, and for social acceptance rather than religious duty?
What's the point of doing something if your heart isn't in it, and just because someone you think loves you stipulates that as a condition?
HOW SAD.
Listen, you have to have a great title for this post so it gets read as much as possible! SHOO UNTITLED?!?!?! :D
What's the point of doing something if your heart isn't in it, and just because someone you think loves you stipulates that as a condition?
HOW SAD.
Listen, you have to have a great title for this post so it gets read as much as possible! SHOO UNTITLED?!?!?! :D
the quran states that there is no compulsion of religion but the verse is always applied externally when really, during the time of the prophet pbuh, it was applied internally just as much. in other words, you can't force people to accept something they don't accept or are not ready to accept.
anyways, the hijab, especially in jordan, has become a cultural element way more than a religious one. there are areas in jordan where the men don't pray, they drink and do drugs, but all their women wear the hijab. the gaza camps is one example
anyways, the hijab, especially in jordan, has become a cultural element way more than a religious one. there are areas in jordan where the men don't pray, they drink and do drugs, but all their women wear the hijab. the gaza camps is one example
Interesting post. Do you think it is more of a power thing? Like he TOLD her to do it or his jealousy is not in check he can't handle others looking at her. So she has to wear it to make up for his weaknesses.
You called it a sacrifice on her part...is it really that that big a deal?
You called it a sacrifice on her part...is it really that that big a deal?
Great post! It's so sad when people do that!
It's sad to see more and more people practicing what they completely don't believe in. Yet, they do it anyway. The example you mentioned is just one of many but it's one that makes me really upset
You said it wisely when you said "why did he pick a non-veiled lady", what is he trying to go to heaven 3ala 7sab el 3alam!!?
The worse part is so many people equate decency with religion! But the truth is, going through the notions doesn't mean that anyone is any better than anyone else.
It's sad to see more and more people practicing what they completely don't believe in. Yet, they do it anyway. The example you mentioned is just one of many but it's one that makes me really upset
You said it wisely when you said "why did he pick a non-veiled lady", what is he trying to go to heaven 3ala 7sab el 3alam!!?
The worse part is so many people equate decency with religion! But the truth is, going through the notions doesn't mean that anyone is any better than anyone else.
well , it's truly sad how the concept of hijjab as a modesty sign & a declared identity z getting so forgotten to the degree of being that much consumed & overshadowed by such shallow reasoning...
2 me the question that z 2 be asked & that goes beyond those girls actions z why a non-religious guy who z having a girl friend -which z indeed against the strict believes of islam- wd have this idea , eno he loves his girl 2 get veiled & wear the hijjab especially when it doesn't exceed being a piece of cloth that may unveil more than wht it literally veils - as wht u said- ? if it's an inherited idea abt the socially gd & right thing why then is it applied 3ala eshi o eshi !
i agree that those girls r no more than a burden on islam but i believe eno f it happened that a girl decided 2 wear hijjab even f 4 such a shallow reason, f she had taken the step 4 whatsoever reason then grab her hand 2 move ahead & get enlightened abt wht the veil implies on her actions instead of convincing her 2 put it off waiting the right time to come,,, she's like a person placed n the middle of a foreign country of a lang. he barley speaks & who needs 2 communicate with the surrounding settings & instead of teaching him wht he needs u r sending him back frm where he came telling him eno go learn abt this new lang & then come back!....
2 me the question that z 2 be asked & that goes beyond those girls actions z why a non-religious guy who z having a girl friend -which z indeed against the strict believes of islam- wd have this idea , eno he loves his girl 2 get veiled & wear the hijjab especially when it doesn't exceed being a piece of cloth that may unveil more than wht it literally veils - as wht u said- ? if it's an inherited idea abt the socially gd & right thing why then is it applied 3ala eshi o eshi !
i agree that those girls r no more than a burden on islam but i believe eno f it happened that a girl decided 2 wear hijjab even f 4 such a shallow reason, f she had taken the step 4 whatsoever reason then grab her hand 2 move ahead & get enlightened abt wht the veil implies on her actions instead of convincing her 2 put it off waiting the right time to come,,, she's like a person placed n the middle of a foreign country of a lang. he barley speaks & who needs 2 communicate with the surrounding settings & instead of teaching him wht he needs u r sending him back frm where he came telling him eno go learn abt this new lang & then come back!....
# posted by 
: 10:10 PM
: 10:10 PM
hal:is the title great enough :S
yfa: it's a hard deal, when you're not convinced about it, and just want to wear only for social acceptance, very hard
nas: im pretty sure we can find that in all the arab countries not just jordan or gaza
simply me: its sad indeed
Q: i guess a non religious guy making "as in using a bit of force" his spouse wear the hijjab are for totally for selfish reasons
mais:it worked once but im sure it wont work everytime
yfa: it's a hard deal, when you're not convinced about it, and just want to wear only for social acceptance, very hard
nas: im pretty sure we can find that in all the arab countries not just jordan or gaza
simply me: its sad indeed
Q: i guess a non religious guy making "as in using a bit of force" his spouse wear the hijjab are for totally for selfish reasons
mais:it worked once but im sure it wont work everytime
Manal, this was a great piece to think about, the comments were insightful, too. SO many undercurrents here!
Apart from discussing religion, this is a demonstration of religion.
In fact, its only a part or an angle to view the social devastation we are going through. Its evident in lack of trust in any intention, in disbeilef of the future, in lacking a definition of society and where religion falls in.. most importantly the communication and the going under currents (as said above) and the taboos everywhere..
I believe that the overall reforms will handle this shit, this shame and backwardness we are swimming in.
In fact, its only a part or an angle to view the social devastation we are going through. Its evident in lack of trust in any intention, in disbeilef of the future, in lacking a definition of society and where religion falls in.. most importantly the communication and the going under currents (as said above) and the taboos everywhere..
I believe that the overall reforms will handle this shit, this shame and backwardness we are swimming in.
# posted by : 6:31 PM
: 6:31 PM
so much to say manal.. but im not even going to get into the cultural and social undertones of this issue... just agreements and disagreements on ur thoughts.
i agree with u that its stupid when a girl wears hijab for her boyfriend or husband and i agree that the boyfriend/husband is stupid too. by the way, ayman used to pray when he told me to put it on but thats besides the point. :) i still think it was wrong of him to ask me to wear it. thank god u were there to wake me up. :D because i do really love wearing it now because I did it.
but i have to disagree that a girl has to be totally committed to god to wear it. commitment grows and the act of wearing the hijab is a growth of that commitment. if a girl decides that SHE wants to wear the hijab and lets assume shes not praying or praying some prayers; then dont u think that the hijab -this act of commitment- will help her in commiting more to other aspects of religion. assuming ofcourse that she put it on for HER self. i say this because when i moved back to the US i had a really really hard time praying my five prayers. i dont knwo what it was but it was so very difficult i would miss some and make some up.
just a side note in amman i would pray qiyam lail (night prayers) and doha prayers- this is to show that religion is an act jihad with ones inner self throughout his life. we as humans have these momments where we find ourself totally commited to god and god concious in everything we do and then at other points in our lives we realize that we have lost that grasp we had on our religous acts. its a constant struggle and constant jihad with urself and we need to constantly be reminded that this life is just a smal part of the ultimate life..
now back to my point.. so i was having a difficult time with my prayers and other acts of worship in general but my hijab was a reminder of my religion. it was a physical, tangible thing that i had, and many oter ppl do, associated with my personal 'religiousness' (not the right word but it'll do..). so my hijab was a constant reminder that i did not want to be a hyprocrite. and because i was wrapping my head each morning i realized this thing on my head is a part of my religion, not the whole thing. so i realized that i had to keep fightin myself, and keep pushing and praying and finding other ways of committing myself to god.
now im not saying that a girl should make her first step towards becoming a more pious muslim to wear the hijab but if she feels that it will help go for it. and we all know that u really cant judge piety based on the veil- who are we to say that a girl with hijab is more religous than a girl without hijab.
and after this very long post just one more thought manal. i dont know y u hate it when ppl 'tell' u to pray. people are giving u advice, take it or leave it thats it. what kind of world would we live in if ppl didnt advise each other?
god im tired typing :)
i agree with u that its stupid when a girl wears hijab for her boyfriend or husband and i agree that the boyfriend/husband is stupid too. by the way, ayman used to pray when he told me to put it on but thats besides the point. :) i still think it was wrong of him to ask me to wear it. thank god u were there to wake me up. :D because i do really love wearing it now because I did it.
but i have to disagree that a girl has to be totally committed to god to wear it. commitment grows and the act of wearing the hijab is a growth of that commitment. if a girl decides that SHE wants to wear the hijab and lets assume shes not praying or praying some prayers; then dont u think that the hijab -this act of commitment- will help her in commiting more to other aspects of religion. assuming ofcourse that she put it on for HER self. i say this because when i moved back to the US i had a really really hard time praying my five prayers. i dont knwo what it was but it was so very difficult i would miss some and make some up.
just a side note in amman i would pray qiyam lail (night prayers) and doha prayers- this is to show that religion is an act jihad with ones inner self throughout his life. we as humans have these momments where we find ourself totally commited to god and god concious in everything we do and then at other points in our lives we realize that we have lost that grasp we had on our religous acts. its a constant struggle and constant jihad with urself and we need to constantly be reminded that this life is just a smal part of the ultimate life..
now back to my point.. so i was having a difficult time with my prayers and other acts of worship in general but my hijab was a reminder of my religion. it was a physical, tangible thing that i had, and many oter ppl do, associated with my personal 'religiousness' (not the right word but it'll do..). so my hijab was a constant reminder that i did not want to be a hyprocrite. and because i was wrapping my head each morning i realized this thing on my head is a part of my religion, not the whole thing. so i realized that i had to keep fightin myself, and keep pushing and praying and finding other ways of committing myself to god.
now im not saying that a girl should make her first step towards becoming a more pious muslim to wear the hijab but if she feels that it will help go for it. and we all know that u really cant judge piety based on the veil- who are we to say that a girl with hijab is more religous than a girl without hijab.
and after this very long post just one more thought manal. i dont know y u hate it when ppl 'tell' u to pray. people are giving u advice, take it or leave it thats it. what kind of world would we live in if ppl didnt advise each other?
god im tired typing :)
# posted by : 1:07 PM
: 1:07 PM
hehehe 7abeebti i love you so much
oh really ayman used to pray at the time!! oooops my mistake, not a hypocrate i take my words back...shu 3aib.
and the ting about hating people telling me to pray is usually because they dont tell; they nag. while them sleves are not either a committed prayer fa khalas everyone parys whenever they feel like it
nice comment by the way
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oh really ayman used to pray at the time!! oooops my mistake, not a hypocrate i take my words back...shu 3aib.
and the ting about hating people telling me to pray is usually because they dont tell; they nag. while them sleves are not either a committed prayer fa khalas everyone parys whenever they feel like it
nice comment by the way
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